Don't Want to Die Alone
by Lie 2 Me
Summary: She sits in the hallway of the place she hates and waits for the news that might change her life. I don't want to do this alone.


**A/N it's a slight AU or you could say that the characters are a little OOC but I was trying something new with my favorite unconventional couple so I hope you like it and if you read please leave a comment whether it be good or bad.**

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**She sat in the quiet clean hallway in that place that she hated so much. She was nervous and worried and wanted nothing more then to just go home and sleep. He was there with her though which made it a little easier but he really hadn't said much since they got there. She didn't know why she had asked him to come, she convinced herself that she just needed him for the ride but she knew there was more to it. They had been there for over an hour and she was started to get even more scared.**

_Sara Beth is scared to death  
To hear what the doctor will say_

"I'm scared." **She stated while looking around and biting her nails. Jay was half-asleep and half-awake and she didn't want to disturb him but she couldn't take the quiet any longer.**

"Of what?" **He asked now trying to get in a more comfortable position, while trying to go back to sleep, or at least make another attempt at going to sleep.**

"Of the sky falling, what do you think?" **She rolled her eyes and slouched down while crossing her arms. He sat up fully awake and looked at her. He thought of a sarcastic remark but the look on her face said not to.**

"Look Ellie everything's going to be fine don't worry about it ok." **She smiled a little at his sincerity a little surprised and thankful for him saying it but that didn't make her feel any better.**

"What know sarcasm?" **He shook his head and laughed a little but said nothing in return. So she sat quietly and waited again. He turned to look at her and noticed the bruise on her side when she stretched.**

_She hasn't been well  
Since the day that she fell  
And the bruise it just won't go away_

"Is that from when you fell?" **She looked at him and then at what he was referring to a gave him a slight nod.**

"Yeah it won't go away and that happened over weeks ago. Gosh how long does it take we've been waiting for an hour and I'm getting bored and a little hungry." **He stomach growled and she blushed a little and Jay just smiled.**

"Here I got a Hershey's and a Twix take your pick." **She grabbed the Twix and smiled at him. He took it as a thank you and just gave him a nod and they started eating in silence. After they finished she just sat there and picked up a magazine.**

_So she sits and she waits with her mother and dad  
And flips through an old magazine_  
_'Til the nurse with a smile stands at the door  
And says "Will you please come with me?"_

**She sat there reading when Jay nudged her and pointed to the nurse who had just arrived at the door. Ellie stood up and looked over at Jay. He took the hint and stood up next to her and followed after them. The Doctors office was big with two windows on the side. HE had pictures of his family on his desk. She sat in the chair and Jay sat next to her. The Doctor took his seat and pulled out her chart.**

"Well Ms. Nash I'd love to say I had good news for you but I'm afraid I don't." **Ellie tensed up and Jay quickly took notice and without either one of them really realizing it he grabbed her hand. She relaxed a little but still didn't feel good.**

_Sara Beth is scared to death  
Cause the doctor just told her the news_

"What's wrong." **She asked she felt as though she was about to be sick. She was expecting bad news but that still didn't make it any better**.

"Well we ran a numerous amount of test on you to find the problem and we've come to the conclusion that you have cancer." **She felt her chest tighten and the sudden feeling of breathlessness. Where Jay's hand had rested a few minutes ago was no longer there. Cancer, she couldn't fathom it. Dr. Roberts was talking about her red and white blood cells and all the medical stuff that she could barley understand because she had zoned out.**

_Between the red cells and white  
Something's not right  
But we're gonna take care of you_

"I'm so sorry but there are treatments that can help you fight this and possibly win, but we going to need to check you into the hospital right away." **She looked up at him with tears in her eyes that were threating to fall at any minute. She didn't remember her standing up and saying no and walking out but she had. A few seconds later she felt Jay's hand on her shoulder. As she turned around to look at him she caved. She broke down in his arms and started crying**.

"It's ok Ellie, it's ok I'm here for you." **He gave her reassuring words but they were no use she couldn't deal with all of it, it was just too much.**

"It's not ok; I've got Cancer I'm going to die." **She pulled away from him and looked at him, for a second she could have sworn she saw his eyes glistening but she paid no real attention to it.**

_Six chances in ten it wont come back again  
With the therapy we're gonna try_

"You don't have to die he said that it could be treated and that you could beat it but you have to try. They've got these treatments and therapy that they can try and he said that it would be likely for it to come back." **He said as he rubbed her back, they had returned to their seats in the hallway as she tried to calm herself**.

"I don't know what if it doesn't go away, what if I don't get better? Or what if it goes away and then comes back? I know the chances but I don't know if I can do it Jay. I'm scared and I don't want to die alone in a hospital without actually living life while I can." **He sat there a moment in silence with her thinking of ways to convince her.**

"I know there are lot of what ifs but what if you try it and beat it? You can't answer a question if you never try. You're a strong girl you can beat this I know you can. Trust me you will win and you won't die alone in this hospital." **She still didn't seem convinced and there didn't seem to be a way to convince her.**

_It's just been approved it's the strongest there is  
I think we caught it in time  
_  
"It's cancer Jay, Leukemia that's not really that easy to beat. It doesn't matter how early they caught it or the medicines they have, cancer is still cancer. It's a life threatning disease that I'm afraid of." **She whispered barley able to find her voice to speak. Jay stood up and grabbed her hand.**

"But I know you can beat it and I'll be right here to help you. You don't have to go through it alone. I'll make you a deal, if you do this I will go to the dumb dance or whatever it is with you and I'll even dance a slow song with you." **He tried to convince her and she looked up at him and into his eyes and thought about it.**

_Sara Beth closes her eyes_

_And she dreams she dancin' around and around  
Without any cares  
And her very first love  
Is holding her close  
And the soft wind is blowing her hair_

"Make it two slow dances and you've got yourself a deal." **He smiled at her and kissed the top of her head. **"But you have to promise me to things, 1 is that you'll always be there for me, 2 are that you can't tell anyone. I don't want people worrying and coming to visit stuff, and me that freaks me out." **He smiled at her and shook his head and she hugged him and walked back into the office with him.**

**A few months later she's still in the hospital and her condition seems to be improving. The Doctors say if she keeps getting better she could be released in two weeks just in time for the dance. She told everyone that her uncle had died and that she was going to Alberta with her mom to help out her aunt and cousins for a while. She hated lying but this was all she could think of. Jay stopped by all the time and stayed as long as she could she was very grateful for this. They watched TV and played cards and just talked. At first it was kind of weird, it was after all Mr. insensitive himself Jay Hogart, but he was there. He told her about the thing going on outside the hospital. She was surprised to learn that Sean had returned but was a little disappointed to know that he was back with Emma. She laughed when she heard about his street race with Peter and how he lost. He told her that everyone was wondering about why you hadn't called or wrote or anything and she kind of felt bad. Alex was asking about her Jay said and Ellie felt that she needed female companionship and she new Alex wouldn't treat her like she was helpless or anything so she agreed to Jay telling her and bringing her by.**

_Sara Beth is scared to death  
as she sits holding her mom_

_Cause It would be a mistake  
For someone to take  
A girl with no hair to the prom_

**It was Saturday when she woke up and saw it. Alex had stopped by and for the first time since Alex had found out, Ellie sat there and cried on Alex. Alex held her and felt like she was going to cry but she never did.**

_For just this morning right there on her pillow  
Was the cruelest of any surprise _

"I'm going to look so ugly; I don't even want to go to that stupid prom thingy, Jay's not going to want to go with me or any other boy for that matter." **She stopped crying and sat up and looked at Alex. Alex looked sympathetic but she tried not to show it.**

"Ellie Nash crying over hair and worried about what some guy will think Wow never thought I'd see that." **Alex smiled and Ellie smiled back. She knew she was sounding like Paige right now but she didn't care.**

"I know how dumb I'm being but still it was my hair. Just cut it off, all of it. I don't want to sit here and wake up each morning to find clumps of hair on my pillow." **Ellie grabbed a pair of scissors out of the side table and handed them to Alex.**

"You sure?" **Ellie nodded her head and Alex started cutting it off. By the time Alex was done Jay had just walked in and asked what was going on. Ellie had started to cry again and Alex had to explain.**

_She cried when she gathered it all in her hands  
The proof that she couldn't deny_

"Your beautiful with or with out hair, it doesn't matter to me. I'm not backing down on our deal either I'll still take you to the stupid prom thing." **Ellie smiled and hugged him.**

"There's this big before party meeting at the dot before so um how about I get Ellie ready and you meet us there." **Alex looked at both Ellie and Jay, Ellie looked worried and Jay smiled and said that it was a good Idea. They stayed and talked for a while and then when it was time to leave Ellie didn't want them to go but she had to she was tired.**

_Sara Beth closes her eyes._

_And she dreams she dancin' around and around  
With out any cares  
And her very first love  
Was holding her close  
And the soft wind was blowing her hair_

**The two weeks seemed to have gone by fast. She was being wheeled to Jay's car and setting off for home before she knew it. Alex and Jay stayed over that night and they tried to stay up all night and talk but Ellie fell asleep. It felt good to be back home where it was cozy and her bed was comfortable. Jay left early the next morning but Alex stayed. They went shopping for dresses, which Alex really didn't care too much for but Ellie made her go. Ellie wore a wig that belonged to her mom. It was ok looking, but she didn't want to where it that night so they had to by her a wig as well. The wig she was wearing was a dark brown, Alex said the color looked good on her but she wasn't to sure if she wanted to wear one that color so they bought two a brown and a red. They went home and got ready. Ellie was worried as they drove to the dot she didn't know what to expect. She had agreed to let Alex take her to the Dot but she was getting second thoughts, she knew she had to tell everyone the truth but she didn't want to. They arrived the and she got out when they walked in the room went silent.**

"Well well look who finally decided to return looking more beautiful then ever." **Marco rushed over and gave her hug. The breath she had been holding since she got there she finally released. When Marco broke apart she smiled at him and then everyone started giving her a hug. The last two people that had yet to give her one were Craig and Sean. She looked around and saw Alex talking to Paige but didn't see Jay.**

"Hey Ellie how's it going? Looking for someone." **Craig had finally spoken to Ellie as he walked over and hugged her; Manny looked a little upset but held her tongue. Now all that was left was Sean. He didn't move and neither did he so finally Jimmy spoke**.

"So El how was everything with your aunt." **Ellie dreaded this moment because now was the time for the truth. She was getting scared again like the day when she found out. But Jay was there that day to make everything better like he was supposed to be today but he instead was no where in sight.**

"Actually I wasn't with my aunt in Alberta." **Ellie stammered out. They all looked at her and she suddenly felt like she was going to throw up. She was about to speak when she heard the door open and Sean spoke.**

_It's quarter to seven  
that boy's at the door  
And her daddy ushers him in_

"What's up Jay, didn't expect you to be here." **Ellie wanted to turn around but she couldn't. She saw Alex get up and walked over to Ellie. Alex pulls Jay over to them and Ellie finally looks at him. She smiles a feint smile and then mouths thank you to him**.

"A baseball cap to a school dance Jay, how original." **Emma states flatly and they start to laugh even Ellie and Alex cracks a smile. But their smile along with the laughter is brought to a sudden halt**

_When he takes off his cap they all start to cry  
Cause this morning where his hair had been  
Softly she touches just skin_

**There were gasps and oh my Gods filling the room and Alex cries a little and Ellie breaks down in tears. As she walks over everyone looks at her weird. She stops and looks at Jay touches his head and falls into his arms and cries. Everyone in the room just looks.**

"Thank you for this Jay you really are amazing. I love you." **She whispers but it's not really a whisper seeing how everyone heard it but it didn't matter who heard it because Jay had given her the greatest gift any one could ever give her.**

"I love you too Red." **She smiled a kissed him on the lips and when she broke apart he took his hand in hers.**

**He gave her his hair and he gave her love and for the first time she wasn't scarred.**

_And they go dancin' around and around  
Without any cares  
And her very first true love  
Was holding her close  
And for a moment she isn't scared  
Ohhhhhh._

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Thanks for reading reviews are always welcomed but not demanded. 


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